Even on holidays, people were just looking to do as much as possible without really experiencing anything. The insanity of basing your whole identity on doing. When I realized this, I ran towards this energy, consciously went into the city among people and shortly afterwards, everything in my life started to flow again. 

I found a wonderful accommodation for a week and had a truly magical time there. A woman who had a similar story to mine, and two men who were incredibly open to spirituality, with no knowledge but quite some gifts which they brought to the party. All three helped me to make peace with my past and to reintegrate parts of myself into my life. 

For example, because of my past, I couldn’t enjoy driving, experience my physical strength, be clear and radically honest with others. All of which I lived in moderation by not living up to my nature. They also gave me the opportunity to talk about my past at length until I no longer felt like it. 

She remembered me about radical honesty, something I had always suppressed to some degree. One of these men was a perfect match for me; during his holiday he did things without thinking much and I thought without doing much. The combination was incredibly good. He knew the culture, had a car, knew good local restaurants and made me want to go hiking. I liked to plan and so we experienced things that we wouldn’t have experienced on our own. 

The second man helped me to grow beyond myself in a physical sense as well as my past. I helped him find clarity about himself and make peace with issues from his past. I met a woman I really liked, and my mind started to go crazy. Being radically honest helped me finally sort this issue out too. I needed some time to realized that all I wanted was to get to know her better and I shared that with her. 

We had some good conversations but it turned out that she didn’t want more from me, and I realized that I didn’t at that point either. After these weeks, I traveled on to La Palma. The second man accompanied me there, and after a week full of beautiful hikes, sunrises and long talks , we went our separate ways. 

I rented my first car and slept in it for ten days. Being closer to nature reminded me how little I needed. What fun i had driving again. Especially the second car I rented had so much power. When I went to buy a sleeping bag, I met a hitchhiker and after we got on well, spent the rest of the day with her. She lived in her boyfriend’s cave. By cave I mean kitchen, running water, bedroom. I admired the fact that she had remained a child all her life and we had many days together. 

In the Caldera Valley, I spent 20 nights in a Bedouin bed, again in full contact with nature. I met many interesting people and got along particularly well with some of them. With three other people, one of them, the owner’s daughter, we cleansed the place of foreign energies. A magical ceremony with fairies, dragons, angels, tree beings, soul family and ancestors. 

Afterwards, I got together with a man I had met there and we spent a month in a shared flat. It was a very challenging time as he turned out to have a very immature personality. I am grateful for that month there as I was finally able to come to terms with some old issues. Despite the fact that we didn’t speak a word to each other for a fortnight, I was able to be myself and behave as I would have behaved on my own, despite the conflict in the air. 

Something wonderful happened in the last three weeks. I got the offer via the hitchhiker. The woman I was referred to has a small finca with 20 chickens and four cats. She had something to do in her home country and was looking for someone to look after her finca and her cats. So I am writing this sitting in the kitchen of the finca. What a difference between the apartment I shared in the town Los Llanos. 

With Pluto conjunct Uranus, I found my way back to my spiritual roots. I realized that I had always had a connection to Shiva and began to adapt my meditative practices accordingly. As the previous months distanced me from myself and yet freed me from many old behaviours, I found my way back to my roots via Lao Tsu. My flight back to Austria is booked for 1st May, and I’m spending two more nights in Tenerife as the flights from there go directly to Vienna. 

There was another nice coincidence concerning my flat for the future, or rather, the near future. You will probably read about this in the next post. 

My magic formula is the complete conviction to be myself, in combination with full surrender. 

I will continue to be surprised where my soul/shiva wants to take me; I have already tried everything else. Last year, I could already see that this worked wonderfully in my life. Both externally and internally, the time on the Canary Islands was characterized by great growth. Not only was I able to make peace with my past, as already mentioned, but I was also able to free myself from some of my compulsions. 

Before I was tied to a retreat, although a space is still important to me, I can find the silence and peace inside now, even with noise outside. Noise used to disturb my inner peace and I needed it silent. I realized that not having a car and living in the suburbs made it very difficult for me to meet people. The hermit period had its own lessons for me though. I return with more flexibility, directness, stronger boundaries and more ease & peace.

My insights from the trip: 
Easy is right. 
We think that easiest is the used path but in truth it leads to the usual suffering. There is always a way out, even in the most dire situations. We just do not want to take it, because it is to easy. Just being radical honest for example is very easy. Or leaving some money behind someone owes us. 

Can you sit still until the right action arises by itself?
When everything can be done, but it is not time to do anything. Or when the time at which we have to act becomes tighter and tighter. Then out of the silence the right action will arise and everything flows by itself. To hold the pressure of potentiality takes some time.

Empty yourself of everything, and all things will come to you.
Beliefs, thoughts, emotions, what we think we are and do well or have done. All things flow to the ocean, because it is the lowest. 

I can neither change nor leave the past; I can only accept it.
There are three ways besides of suffering. Accept it, leave it, change it. Somethings in my past I couldn’t forgive, as I was to little and had no say in it. Took some time till I realized that the only way is to accept it. It was like it was.

Let people come to you, and if they don’t come, let them go.
Usually I hold on to relationships for far to long. Only I keep the it running. If give and take is not balanced, let them go.

Thinking in terms of lack always leads to suffering.
I had only two so said bad experiences on my travel. Both occurred  because I wanted to safe money or feared an outcome. Funny enough that in abundance I had great experiences and spent less money.

Be generous in conflict. 
Usually in conflict we’re stingy and get nowhere. In fact it is lack consciousness again. Most conflicts wouldn’t even exist if we would be in a mindset of abundance. This turns it around.

If borrowed money doesn’t come back to you, let it go; otherwise, you will suffer more than the money is worth.
Both sides hold on, both sides make war. Like poisoning oneself, only because the Ego believes something belongs to it.

Ciao, have great moments, some magic and enjoy the most beautiful pictures of my journey below!