Boundaries! Knowing when enough is enough

Hi, about boundaries. In my opinion, the most important topic to prevent bitterness and build a successful life, we need to know our limits. How do you find out where your limits are, through a lot of experience and observation, which is our nature.

The first thing and the last I learned regarding boundaries is, boundaries start with your own structure. So boundaries, structure, limitations. And structure is your own rhythm. Find out what rhythm suits you, like waking up, washing, doing yoga, meditation, for example, that’s my rhythm.

But I have three arrows of four to the left. I like a lot of structure and I find when I do not structure my day, I get nothing done, not even the things that nurture me. If you have a lot of arrows to the right, then keep it more vague. What you do and when you do, it isn’t fixed. You do not like it when there is a fixed structure, possibly. Just keep it open, but say from maybe six in the morning to 10 in the morning, I’ll do an hour that nurtures me. You could even keep the time flexible, play around with it.

And see how easily you get distracted in that nurturing time. When someone knocks on the door, when someone calls you, when your dear animal comes, or your child, your young one. Do you get distracted? So that’s a boundary crossing, that’s your holy time. Can you stay true to yourself? Do you honor yourself, the time that nurtures you more than the rejection of the other? If you get easily distracted, you know that no one else will honor your boundaries because you do not honor yours. That’s the first and most important step. The second step is learning to say no. Fetch a friend and ask her to ask something from you. Then say no and let her insist at least three times. For example, would you look after my cat, please? You do not have to do a lot of things. Just, she likes her food and give her a cuddle once or twice a week for an hour. And I will pay for the food, everything will be there.

Would you do that for me, please? No. But you’re just next door, it would be so easy for you to just do it. It wouldn’t make a lot of work. No. And let her go on, let her find things. People usually do that. They do not respect boundaries, they insist. And watch how you start to spin a story of sorriness to excuse yourself, how tight your throat gets, how you want to agree because it’s easier and how they play the guilt game. But you are my friend. I do not have anyone else. And the next time you need me, I’ll be there for you. They play all tricks. So just train it. I set up a phrase before, I said, thank you for respecting my boundaries on my decision. Because if they don’t, they disrespect me and that’s what they do not want, it’s a game as well.

The third step is being aware of the consequences beforehand. No. And be aware that saying yes, even when you do not want to, the open will center usually doesn’t have the will to fulfill what they say. So you say yes, and then you do not have the steam or desire to do so. And if you do, you get bitter afterward because disrespect doesn’t breed appreciation. So, usually they take you for granted afterward, and you become even more bitter. And if you say no, they will let you feel it, usually at the beginning. We do not want such friends in the future, but at the moment we might have some that take the easy way and use us, take advantage of us. Because we are always there, we have time, so they use us, they are the ones, the generators that have always a lot to do.

So we are like a tool they can take from the shelf and then use it, and then they put it back. You do not say thank you to the tool usually. And that’s how we feel afterward, used. So you need to get used to the rejection. If you cannot stand this repulsion, the rejection from the other, you will always comply to their needs and at the end you will feel used. Back to the consequences. What are the consequences? Yes means bitterness for me, rejection, no means rejection for me, but peace of mind.

And you have to get clear when you say almost all authorities, maybe Splenic not should say, I’ll get back to you when someone asks. Take a break, step back, no matter, even me as a self-projected authority which can make fast decisions, I do not trust my feelings when I’m so immersed in that most of the time root center that pushes and wants to drive and do. And they want to suck me in and do something with me because it feels so good that I heighten their energy. And if they do not respect me saying I’ll get back to you, then it’s an automatic no.

And I found that talking isn’t as much important as clear body signals. Generators and manifesting generators in my regard aren’t here, not regard, in my view aren’t here to understand, they are here to do. So we are here to understand, and we try to explain, but that they don’t get it. So they overstep, we explain to them, we talk to them. They seem to understand, but then they do it again, and we explain again, and this game always goes on, and they still do not get it because they are not here to understand. They are not here to adapt and change like we do.

So clear body signals, hand up, saying no, clear comments, simple, not great explanations like I do here. Or looking away, very effective when generators are just talking or wanting something and are disrespectful, just looking away. Or say, I go now and then step up and go. The energy needs to be there, you do need to want it. And that’s something that’s hard for us because we feel the rejection, the energy of the other so much stronger than they even do. That’s our thing to learn.

So summary, first, get clear of your own rhythm. Implement it, don’t get distracted from it. Don’t let anyone disturb you when you do your holy nurturing time. Learn to say no and be aware of your consequences beforehand and what you will do if they disrespect or overstep it.

Hope that helps, bye.

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