Know thy Not-Self and be bitter no more!

Hi. Another excellent way to prevent bitterness is the awareness of your not self themes. So get your chart and best to write it down or print it out where your centers are undefined or even open. That alone brought me deeper into my success and prevented a lot of bitterness. I was sitting on the couch in my kitchen, my environment is kitchen, and on the left I have a letter with all the not self themes of my open centers, and I was always asking me the questions and I go through them with you. I have the first four defined, so I have a little sneak peek on my laptop.

The head center is occupied with questions that don’t matter. I see that a lot, that people ask questions that don’t matter. With don’t matter, I mean that they don’t change anything. They don’t lead to results that have an effect. And they often ask the wrong questions. So it’s not what in my chart is responsible for my victimhood, that would be a wrong question or a question that just leads to more victimization. The right question would be what can I be responsible for? How can I be more responsible for my actions, more aware? So, if you ask yourself, am I occupied with questions that don’t matter? Does this matter? What I’m thinking about right now, if there is a yes, then you know if you’re in the not self or in the self.

The next is the Ajna, pretending that you are mentally certain. Illness of the unemployed egoistic corporate world, everyone tries to be certain of what they talk about, or at least they look like it. So you can ask yourself, do I try to be certain? In the most cases, I’ve observed that it builds more trust when I say I don’t know. Obviously, there’s a red stale of drama behind that. Why we as a culture can say that? So we have difficult saying that.

Then we have the throat center, trying to attract attention. Do I try to attract attention, usually through speaking with what I do now? If it’s a yes, you know you’re in the not self. You can be aware of it and by being aware of it, you will stop because there’s no point in going on. You know it will lead to bitterness. If you don’t know it, then go on, have your own experience. It will certainly backfire. Have fun.

Then the G center, trying to find direction and love. Are you always out there, and it comes in combination with the throat, for example, you speak to get attention or do you go to the next seminar, to the next workshop, to the next guru because you’re looking for love and direction? If there is a yes, you know it’s the not self. Go through all the centers. It will take only minutes, and it will bring a lot of awareness to yourself. One of the golden nuggets of human design.

The will center or ego center. Always trying to prove or improve myself or yourself. In my experience, that’s one of my open centers. I have not even one gate defined. I studied because I wanted to improve myself. Furthermore, I had the belief that I wasn’t good enough, for example, that I needed to do something to be something or become something to be something. So, are you trying to improve or prove yourself? Proving to the generator world that you do more than them, that you are better than them. So, classical ego center.

Then there is the emotional center. Avoiding confrontation and truth. So always running away from confrontations. In the family I grew up, everyone had it defined. So I had a big time, a long time to confront them for something I felt true because there was such an emotional backlash. We are conditioned through our open center. That’s natural, that’s where we get wise. So, essentially, we get the wise with confrontations that we speak our truth. I’ve mentioned that in the boundaries video. Be clear what you want to say, where your limits are beforehand, and then go there and tell them and what the consequences are if they don’t. Don’t be a teacher like I will run away like that. It’s not their consequences, it’s more unemotional. Like please respect my boundaries. I do not come. If they don’t, I go without a word. That would be a consequence you said beforehand. And that makes confrontations a lot easier. And usually we run away from it, but we have difficulty doing it because we feel the emotional backlash so much stronger than they do. So we do not fear the no so much as the rejection and the emotional wave that comes after it because the emotional center always wants to bang it out. The will center even more. It’s the emotional center needs to ride it out. The will center wants to clash the wills so that they can feel it. But we do not need it if we are undefined there. So we really need to step away, just call or say, I’ll get back to you. Then write a letter, go there, tell them or send the letter. I’ve trained a lot with just sending letters at first, then get out. Don’t discuss, no discussions.

Then we have the splenic center, always holding onto things that aren’t good for us anymore. So ask yourself, is this still good for me? Like a job, a relationship, the big themes, working or living environment, this place, playing this computer game, speaking with this person, going out, drinking alcohol. Everyone is different. If you say yes, you know you are in the not self. Splenic, defined persons know when it’s enough, usually. So we need to know it beforehand, and that ties in with the emotional center. So we hold on too long and we fear to confront someone. And so we are stuck in something. And then we try to be certain when we have an open Ajna, and maybe we try to prove that we are good enough, and we are stuck in the not self and bitter as hell, and then we get aggressive and blame everyone else.

So then we have the sacral, which comes to us projectors as not knowing when enough is enough. It’s beautiful how everything works together when you have a lot of open center themes and one center or two will be big. When you look up the charts of your colleagues and relationships and parents, then you will see that all of them are defined, or you are undefined, you had a lot of conditioning there. Is it enough? It’s so, do you have enough yet? It’s like eating too much. In the environment of generators, they are used to the sinful eating and eating a lot, and they can digest it, but we are usually stuck with it. So we eat, we get taken away and then we have stomach problems. But it’s everywhere, it’s we work too much. For example, without breaks, take a break every 50 minutes, don’t work more than six hours a day. You do the equivalent of at least eight and a half generator hours. Say no more. Do you say no enough? No. So “No” now would be fun.

So, and the last one is the root center. Always in a hurry to get rid of pressure. For me, that’s like an bee like energy, always this zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz, zzz. Many in my family have it defined and when it’s out of balance from the family members, it’s so stressful. They always push, there is this need to do, to get things done. If I have tasks in the morning, even when I’m alone, I feel the not self kicking in the conditioning, like I need to get it done, and I can barely sit still and meditate when this energy is active. And that, when it takes me anywhere, I’m moved by it, and then I’m totally, I’m totally tired after a few hours. I miss the bosses, I miss everything. It’s just like I need to do this and this and this, and I’m stressed like hell. Defined root, they are always buzzing around, but they do not rest in themselves. So you can ask yourself, do I feel pressure to get things done? Am I in a hurry to get things done? Usually what we have to do doesn’t take a lot of time. We just need time because we hurt ourselves. We miss steps, we do things wrong that we need to do again. So everything gets out.

I would really recommend to you to print it out, put it somewhere where you can see it, maybe make a phone screen. And if, when you don’t feel as good, go over every open center you have and ask yourself, just to be aware and after some time, you will see and recognize when you’re in a not self, and then you will stop and you will withdraw. And sometimes you will, it will have taken you away. You will see how it moves you away and how bitterness is your gift.

Take care. Bye.

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